We all love to be given a warm welcome when we visit our friends and family. Sometimes we get it and sometimes we feel we deserve better than what we get. At times, it doesn’t matter if we are welcomed well or not because we know we are only visiting for a limited time.
It is a different matter though when it comes to welcoming our In-Laws, I mean when welcoming a daughter in-law/sister in-law into our family (son in-laws as well). Remember when welcoming a daughter in-law particularly that she is coming to join your family for life and your way of welcoming her may influence how she blends into her new family. Our mode of welcoming her says a lot and shows if she is being “welcomed to” or “welcomed into” our family.
When we “welcome to” we tell her what is being done and tell her what to do, at times we even make some important discussions about the whole family without her opinion. We talk to her but not with her.
On the other hand, when we “welcome into” we involve her actively in all family discussions. We consider her feelings and value her opinions in future matters for the family. We treat her like a family member entitled to her own ways and liable to make mistakes.
Our ability as in-laws to welcome a daughter in-law or son in-law and able to show love to them makes them feel accepted and feel more committed to making everyone happy. It also gives them a sense of belonging to their new family. The more they feel welcomed into the family the less chances of them counting or recalling any unpleasant times encountered in dealing with their in-laws.
We also need to remember that they have also just left their parents and friends behind. An environment where they feel loved and valued. They could do with some tender loving care!.
So the question again – is it a “welcome to” or a “welcome into” our family that you show to your daughter in-law , son in-law, or sister in-law especially?
Are you welcoming them as a guest or are you embracing them as a member of your family?
God bless you.
May 3, 2008 at 9:13 am
Wow… you have given me a full understanding on in-laws. Media today portray inlaws as negative people who are out there to make marriage lives a misery… but now that you read all the blogs you realise that they’re actually humans with… feelings.
May 9, 2008 at 5:19 pm
This is really inspirational stuff. Funny enough I never thought of the two being totally different.I am blessed as I have been totally ‘welcomed into’ the family.I matter and my in-laws allow me to be seen and importantly be heard. I think one important factor is the way a wife or husband presents his spouse to her/his in laws. My husband showed his relatives that he totally loved and accepted me although I am not from the same country with him. The ways he respects my opinion is the same way my in laws respect me as well.It works both ways.
May 27, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I’m very happy for you, and I hope that Lots more good things will happen in jesus name.
September 28, 2008 at 1:55 am
my husband and I have been married for one year,and we have moved his sister into our home.After reading this I understand why it is so difficult for me to tolerate this living arrangement.She is not just a guest in my home,she’s famly I’ve got a lot of praying to do.